How do people function without the Internet? Well, individuals can do so if they live in a household with someone who is internet savvy. But how can a household function without it? I know some people who do, mostly people who can fix their own cars or build a shed or do other useful things with their hands. But we are not them, and I’d be lost if sunspots or earthly enemies or just basic calamities took down our internet.

The last house we sold was on the very edge of basic DSL service (remember DSL?). We were legally able to claim that it had broadband access, and we did. Sadly, the buyer was an early adopter of working from home, and I’m sure he was more than a little disappointed by the level of broadband service he’s acquired. 

Today, we have mediocre broadband because we’re not professionally dependent on it and don’t want to pay for faster service. We can stream things, so we’re good. I wish everyone had cheaper access to super fast service, but a lot of people, especially oldsters like us, just don’t think it’s that essential. My simple chores today, however, proved how useful fast internet can be.

First off, I needed to put new batteries into our AirTags. AirTags are those magical things you can attach to luggage or key rings or thumb drives to help you locate them when they’re lost. When they first came out, I was skeptical, thinking that Apple was just pitching one more gadget at me, and I could do without this one. But even though I generally put my keys in the same place when I come home, my husband does not. So I broke down and bought two AirTags. Great.

And it wasn’t long until I found out that they actually work. I succeeded in finding his keys when neither of us could succeed just by looking everywhere and lifting up anything they might be hiding under. At one point, I even had to use my tag to find my own keys, so now I was sold on AirTags! Then I learned that an AirTag can also help me find my hubby because he always has his keys with himwhen he’s up and about. Double great! But today? Not so great. 

AirTags work on batteries. And they let you know when their batteries are low. So after getting frequent messages about low batteries, I bought new ones and set about replacing them. Ha. The good news is that it only took a minute or two to replace the second one. The first one? That one took more than one trip to the Internet for help. (So maybe I also need one of those dementia tests that old folks get at their annual wellness visits.)

First off, I couldn’t open the battery case. I actually tried prying it off with a kitchen took (please don’t tell Apple!). If I still lived near an Apple Store, I’d probably have gone to one for help. But I don’t, so I didn’t. Next best thing, YouTube. “How to change a battery in an AirTag” produced several videos I could choose from. I opted for 53 seconds from Apple explaining how to get the battery out of its case. Tried it. Didn’t work. Kept trying. Started grumbling. Took a break. Asked hubby for help. Still didn’t work. More grumbling. Another break. And then – lightbulb over my head!!!

The video clearly said to press and turn it counterclockwise. Counterclockwise. Counterclockwise. I do know the difference between clockwise and counterclockwise, honest I do. And the thing actually opened when I finally tried turning it counterclockwise. Great. I was on my way. If only I could get the new battery out of the package. 

We’ve all had experiences with over packaging, the greatest contributor to our mountains of garbage, I’m sure. Once I realized that the battery was fully enclosed in a plastic shell, I brought back the kitchen tool and eventually pried it open. Then, remembering that I needed to place the positive side of it facing up, I put it in the AirTag and tried to put the case back together. And tried again. Grrr. But this time, I didn’t wait as long to consult YouTube. And yes, the positive side has to be facing up, but facing up from the white part of the case, not the metal backing. OK, got it. 

Yes, the case came together, yes the plastic ring came together, yes the first AirTag successfully got a new battery. The second one was easy. But just as I was sighing a huge sigh of relief, hubby called for help with the shredder. It was very full of shredded paper that needed to be emptied. He asked if had a manual for it because we could not pry apart the working parts from the bin holding the paper. Nope. No manual, but we do have Internet. So back to the computer. Found the model we have online, clicked on it, and voila! The top does not come off. The bin pulls out from the front of the shredder. Too simple. But neither of us had thought to try that. 

In pre-Internet days, were people just better at problem solving mechanical things such as this? I think they must have been. Surely they didn’t persist as long as I had at going clockwise, when counterclockwise was the trick to getting on with the day? I think I’m a perfect example of someone who has “offshored” much of my thinking! Could I survive a year – heck, a month – if the Internet went down?

I do wonder about my friends who don’t have smart phones and all the other gadgets we have. Are their problem solving abilities more intact? Are they happier? No, I’m pretty sure they’re not happier. I just happen to love being able to look up information instantly. As a curious person to start with, I have glommed onto the Internet like a goat onto whatever vegetation you put in front of it. I would be really, really sad if I lost the ability to look up definitions or if someone is dead or alive or whatever else I’m immediately curious about. 

So, please, don’t ever take my Internet away!